tis morning i turned to my neighbour. since our office is an open concept..and our seats are flanking the 'highway' it is not difficult to notice what's on other's people screens..so today i took a few glances at his screen and just blurted out "k, you are on livejournal!" hahah wonder if that gave him a fright! his reply 'ya, i do but i won't tell you" and i have to say "neneneh, me too... i wont tell you mine. " tho mine is not on LJ..

i have actually spotted errmm a few others logging in to blogspot at work..which makes me miss MT..coz...errmm its not so obvious. i wonder if K is getting paranoid tonight by the fact that he was 'discovered' ...you know to some people i know..this webblogging thing is like a clandestine operation..maybe they dont want people in their real life to find out about their alt self. it is in truth a voyeuristic experience isnt it. which makes it more dangerous if you are the type of blogger who rant rave your thoughts on work, people and the life around you. which makes me wary about blogging about my work actually, or my life in details and my thoughts..which makes it then not worthwhile to blog if i have to self-censor myself.

but then as K said it we have a lot of our 'clients' weblogging too. which i know. that is why, to whom ever gets here ..i dont have a links section coz things can get a lil bit complicated with the linking sometimes. and if you know me, and just want a link..maybe dun use my name hor. that is why also i am happy for the older site to just die. as for my fav reads, i simply bookmark em on my browser.


then there is also the other case where we get wary of strangers..not people we know in real life or people who have already identified themselves to us online...

while we have online, some parts of ourselves written for all, strangers included, to see, it never fails to make some people think they know the whole sum of us. and from here, we have a lot of wasted time and energy of blogbitching and comment-hijackers...it is sooo ridiculous..why bother?

but i guess it is inevitable..(but that doenst mean i cant take measures not to waste my time and whoeveryouare time), coz it's one of the reasons why the guy is not interested in watching reality shows...coz he said for some people it brings out the voyeur in them. and me, we , you all, just cant help reading and then commenting, tagging, even talking about it offline..and be judgemental about me, us, you and them..just as we think the characters in *name your reality show here* is *bitchy/manipultive/boring/bimbo/snobbish* and the list goes on...

while in actual fact they are edited by the producers, and may only potray parts of the personalities.

the ones online however of course are self-produced, self-scripted, and most times with self-potraits included. and everything here can be edited. which is wonderful...and both phenomena just feeds on the kaypohness in human, and some said particulary for the female of the species. myself, guilty as charged. and got to add, the narcissists in us. why do you think then, the self potraits?

here online, we have our own reality shows and we have all the choices, just take your pick of "the day in the life/ in the head of the "angtsy teenager/smart ass/ slutty gal/bridezilla/so inlove with themselves couples/materialistic person/gal very *frust*...." and the list goes on..... depending on how ever we want to judge these characters and how these characters want to potray themselves unwittingly or otherwise..and myself may fall in any ones of these categories..i understand..and accept that (to add that bcoz he doenst want to be categorise and have to potray himself as something. which he cant anyway.he doenst want to blog. plus also because he's already not into writing lah) we even have blogs according to jobs of the blogger..the most common few i find online..errm dunt want to say. figure it out yourself.

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dint even plan to write about the blogging scene..and dun know why i rambled on it..some vomit there i have..

hahah just wanted to say next few days and week will be busy period for moi. i will however be taking part in a run this weekend
wish me luck and pray the haze clears.

back to work today and it wasnt too bad...i am feeling more comfortable now. infact, i found some company i enjoy. and i found the humour and wit in people around me now. i decided not to fret and be more open, not to be consumed with the stress. like it was in my uni days, when i only found the fun and the people i could hang out with in the last few years. here's hoping for a more 'settled' time.

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went out for dinner. read about one s e l e b r i t i wedding. i think they are cool, especially for the fact that they have been together for so long. i thought she came across as a normal working gal (well, okay she isnt really in the league of a true blue royalty celebrity.. but then again who is, in our lil isle ) except for the 500 invites for dinner, which of course was due to their extensive contacts throughout each of their own lives and career. the coolest thing however was the fact that they got their bands from what is essentially a museum gift shop (and someone beside me just have to say "yeah, they are definitely the antithesis of the other c e l e b r i t i and his wat's that b*iatch name..the one in v e ra wang?" )

anyway, someone told me a few months back how he went to mustafa with his then fiance to look for their wedding band. they were trying their darndest best to find the thinnest one..however all they could find were some chunky ones. " the ones which you wear and you can't bend your finger" he said...but then again he might have been exagerating. they got theirs eventually from a roadside shop ;)

on the same topic, i didnt get him a ring for our engagement..because errm.. he didnt want? we didnt think it was necessary? and i want him to wear a wedding band eventually of course...but now his b'day is coming..i am thinking of getting him a puzzle ring or more like the 'fusion' ring. what say you?..one in next month...the other one slotted in next year?

i am feeling really bla ..so i shall ramble..freeflow and on nothing in particular

this week, we decided to watch a movie coz i had not caught any movies at all this hols.
and the movie we watched was 'japanese story' simply because..it was the earliest one available and it suited our timing. unfortunately,it was not the glitzy escapist or feel good hollywood movie i realised i wanted to watch. when sandie got on the japanese guy and later when they continued to frolick in the aussie outback, i just found the scenes comical somehow..maybe it was just me that day. because of that i decided to search for the shrek (1) vcd after that. yes, i have yet to watch that one then. we found it at 4.90 at hmv...

shrek is adorable..i love him. he doesnt give a damn what others think of him..anyway, you know they had that song in the beginning..was it by smash mouth..and this line going on "not the sharpest tool in the shed"...recently i felt that way. like really dumb. and i feel lousy. things that make me feel lousy..will be when i find myself being rude, lazy, having crap skin and coming across dumb. the worst thing someone can think about me is therefore "god, she's an empty vessel" hahah maybe i am exagerating..but let me. i just feel like whining.

i am attending this two days counseling course..and although the pace of the course seems to crawl..some parts of it were interesting. particulary the sharing session. what i realised, there were some of the staffs, that the kids find easier to tak to and had become agony auntie of sort. what i like, the staffs are professional and adhered to being confidential about the cases..coz some places i had been to, the staffs will just rattle on about this kid or that having this problem and that. which is not good..

inevitably there was of course the sex talk..and during my time we just refer it to 'bgr" but now we decided that is a bit old fashion..now it includes 'bbr' and 'ggr'. move with the times. tho i think the 'bbr' cases are more common..we talked about a few cases and the best way to handle them.

not surprisingly it seems when a guy decides to join the brotherhood, it appears that when we study his profile, he will tend to be the youngest or the only son in a family of girls...which, i have told him many times, statistically it seems my phyz could have a good chance of converting. especially since he was from a boys school! and especially since his sisters with glee had told me several times how they made used of him to be their models when they play act! ..hheheheh but i am pretty sure he got his inclination right..

tho i do really get all jealous and possesive whenever his friends errrmm..get to stay the night at his place..or he stays at theirs..which is very often! especially this month! yalah, soccer season..errm but i had told him, whenever i call and find out about his plans for that night, to just tell me straight and come out of the closet. teasing of course.

on "best kept secrets" :

"this was written in memory of one's of life rare and precious moments. a moment of heart-bursting joy, an epiphany. those moments are sometimes like a vortex, as if life led to them and also life starts from them. they have a timelessness and there's a feeling, at least for me life could end right there and be complete."

G, Lou Rhodes

and that is how i feel. it's crystal clear, the vision.

phyz's photos







someone told me that while he was shooting at the garden, a friend's friend working at NP spotted him and recognized him..where else if not from his appearances in the blogging world ;)

some things you can't leave behind..



someone let me take a peek into her 1995 organiser!! oh my! our cikgu said was the "lovebite" cikgu. i took malay for 3 mths (coz i dun have to take AO malay..) but i heard some of the boys were nasty, in the cheeky hilarious way!

i had a woooonderful day yesterday! my baby is back and we went somewhere (another story) and i ended the day with a nice evening-spa-out!

i have to say i am a spa addict! i am! it's my only indulgence! after trying out and investigating spas some places in the region and back home here, i have to say one of the best (or at least my favourite) is right at my doorstep..yesterday, i decided i need a break from doing the SPA manual and get down to experienceing the real SPA!



i know i have been rambling about this place, but they have just moved to a new bigger place, so i had to check them out, and of course i need to have a kneading. yesterday i brought a fwen along to check out their new place, and y and me just wanted to jump around (because we were excited) that the place looked so beautiful. but we couldnt coz the spa reception has a walkway over water..just in case we fell..anyway,it was few time bigger and more gorgeous. and the services are just as great. let's just say both of us were impressed enough at the end of it all, to say, darn, why didnt we invest/start/own this place..hahah at least in our dreams!


the ladies, siti and su were just excited about their new place. they are such pleaseant hosts. siti the chattier one (she is! she has already given advice to me on how to be nice to MIL2B, and which dj to choose for recption etc), started waxing lyrical about one of their new services, the brazilian (wax) (pun intended) then procedeed to show me around their place like a proud home-owner. there is a particular section that she is working on, which has a different theme from the rest of the dayspa, and she gave me a sneak peak. it is going to be a very girly, very moulin rouge with everything that i like, like the chandeliers the mirrors, the red and purple, and maybe some feather boa ( i told her when she can get some of those). and that was going to be their new meni and pedi room, ready next month! it is pretty..and once you step in, you would have ideas for you know what! Y, whom i had elected to be my martha stewart coordinator..i had now pushed to her the responsibility to make sure i have a party here for next year..hahaha..hmm but we could even have one earlier this year to for someone eles ;)

aaah...since i am a loyal fan and member (20% off, babes), what has to be the icing on the cake, is that i get to use the suites..muahahah..and just have to come to see the suites! let's just say they manage to transplant a balinese hut for one of the suites!

their service as always is good (except for the waiting sometimes coz of the packed schedule). i used the last of my scrub voucher to get an oatmeal scrub. not to pleaseant smell but makes the skin so smooth (after that i couldnt help telling Y to "feel my skin!") and the massages are divine here. how do i know..coz they always makes me feel so relaxed and to a state of zen so that when i come out of it, siti always say i looked stoned! last evening, y just had to agree with her. i was so blissed out. so was she! i think we will come back for more!


the place,

w a y a n r e t r e a t. c o m

There once was a boy
Who fell for a girl
His love was in music
Hers for the world

He d see her in passing
She d see him too
What the two of them felt
Nobody knew

She d cross the street
And he d cross her mind
And he d think of her
As she left him behind

But one special day
When the sunshine was good
The two of them spoke
As if always they would

She was delightful
And he made her smile
And the two of them thought
Good things all the while

He loved her smarts
And her ways all around
He found her beauty
Enchanting and sound

She loved his innocence
And his silliness too
And his goodness is
Something she just right away knew

So the two of them walked
And the two of them played
And the two of them cherished
All of their days

So it came to be known
All over the town
That the boy and the girl
Would forever be bound







...........TBC

last night i met with my girlfriends while the boy is out of town...

it was suppose to be the usual I and 3 Js..but one of the J was stuck in woodlands..

anyway one of my J galpal, JJ is getting married. (16 weeks more, she exclaimed!) hahah and what can i say, she looks cuter and more berseri-seri now..ah, must be love..

what do you get when you get a soon to be married gals together..we talk about wedding lor. the other J (with a c) was fine with the talk coz she is afterall the maid of honour for JJ. but JJ was not hesitant to admit she is suffering from "wedding planning fatigue" and wants it to be done and over with..can imagine!

because of that the girl was excited and nice enough to want to be a bridesmaid for my wedding ..and we spent sometime thinking what the girls would wear..J (with the c) in the end said it sweetly "just give me anything you want me to wear lah" hehehe...

i already know my duties for her wedding, and i also do much appreciate help for mine too heheh..here's a checklist of responsibilities first for you bridesmaids out there. as the word goes, bride + maid...so u have to run around and be my maid for that day....oops.

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i think tis comes to the end of another "think about wedding" season for me . it happens every other term break and i am getting tired aready thinking about it. my work, the preparation for the blardy SPA manual (not what you are thinking) is curing the wedding illness off me..and i am ready to shelf all the wedding thoughts until next hols...

my first attempt at the marble magnets..couldnt find a suitable pix. got the pix from Decor Trend page which showed bolleeewood kitsch. so i chose one mama hero and a heroine to go along. (side note: it got us feeling indian for dinner later. kashmiri naan. yums)





marbles i got from ikea have some pearlsecene gloss on them, and are highly reflective. not so great. and a lil bit rough at the edges.


the weather is too damn hot..i prefer to stay home n get involved in such things..

so yesterday after lunch i told him to go ahead on his own..it was too damn hot for me to want to go around town..plus i had work to do. he went off on his own. he met his friends. and came back to meet me for dinner. and just then he said he is going KL for a gig the very next day, that is today!

did i grumble? sure i did slightly but i am not his mommy..and the one week notice thing doesnt apply in the relationship, not just yet.

so have fun boy!

1430h:

i am sad and feeling like the possessive girlfren right now : S

he just said he is leaving in an hour's time. i have plans for tonight and the weekend aready but not the same without him. nope.

The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.

~ Rumi

the other day i had lunch at his place..and his mum cooked lontong for lunch. and i had to politely ask her how she made it, coz firstly i wonder what made her make such a high cholestrol artery choking meal (santan, you know) and secondly i just wanted to know the recipe. but as i found out, she is on top of things and had it made using "high calcium low fat milk" with minimal oil. what can i say, i have a lot of catching up to do..

my mum cooks occasionally..i cook very rarely..hahah and it depends on the mood really. like a few holidays ago, i was really into trying out dishes, cooking and baking and even invited friends over for dinner/tea parties. i have a few dishes which i think is passable and good enough to invite friends over (how do i know..coz the ask me for the recipes..hahah) but my mum likes to point out..they are simply "weird" dishes..like vietnamese caramel chicken, springroll, bunthit and a few others non malay dishes which i doubt will impress my mum and more so the MIL2B.

i knew what i had to do..learn a few dishes (NONE of which will be her signature dishes so that there wont be any comparison). something traditional but not so tedious. most cases that is how i do it, mix the premix with some of the spices..though i doubt she will be happy about the "preserved" premix..hahah

to impress her..i suppose i have to learn to make something healthy. and what more can be healhier than steamed fish (fish being her favourite) but alas i have not even yet to start learning how to treat a fish..the only fish dish i am confident of making is fish and chips (dory in batter, not the fish fillet in a box ah) i thought i was going to learn to cook this hols but it is being postponed indefinitely.

coz i simply am not in the mood ( i prob have to learn along the way later) and my energy right now is into something else. this holiday seems to have transformed into a gestation period for ideas for you know what event.



these ones taken from impressstamps.com ....something along this line xcept that mine wont be for any shower ;> and it is not so fancy. my DIY projects are for the reception for the close and dear..if it's for the other one, i may just DIE doing them. i have actually make a prototype (which is quite me-pink) and which has been approved by him. yeah! now all i need to do is sort some details..put it in my idea file and maybe months later if i still fancy it, got to find and mobilise the elves to help me :)

have you heard of the sandwich generation? it was a friend of mine who actually told me of the term. for anyone who had watched the last season of satc, in the second last or was it the last episode when miranda was taking care of the baby and then having to chase after steeve's sick mum. that's what it all means to be in that generation isnt it. it is actually defined as "those sandwiched between aging parents who need care and/or help and their own children."

to think of it, it has always been the case hasnt it, the sandwich thing.but i just think the elder folks of the future may just have their own set of expectations, different from the grandmas and grandpas we had. but more so of coz, the us now, have different expectations of life as compared to our parents. between the two, it's probably us who need to reassess how we go from here.

we had dinner together just now. and we talked about a few things..and i was being the pessimist again. i told him when we get married it appears that "things would not get easier" we are pretty gelled together and we know each other almost like the back of our hands but looking into the future, i see several challenges ahead.

i have yet to have my own kids. that is much further in the future. but for now, i have already start to worry increasingly for my parents. my parents are not independent in many ways. and some time i find myself involved in their problems and coming to their rescue.the role revearsal reminds me that we are getting old. all of us. that itself, is frustrating in many ways. and now i am going to be entering into another family, with its own set of challenging situations that i am already fully aware of..and in the future, i foresee will have to be in my sphere of concerns.

that's how life is, isn't it. when you realised you are all 'grown up' and actually going into the family way.

well, that big picture will always be there..for now i have to make do with making myself happy with the more frivolous details of life...

typing this while having my newly purchased kose whitening (more of de-gunking) black mask, on

while is was away...

phyz's

finally my hols is starting. from today. i am going to have a break (yes been back to pasir ris and also nus over the last week and half) and almost the entire days of the 'official' term break slipping away..i dunno if i am too excited coz i am starting to feel feverish (i.e. sickly) now.

be gone for KL soon in afew hours :)
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yesterday managed to squeeze in some time...

since i figured i am partly leaving a life of a student..i shall errm try to 'feel' younger..so ermmm i went for a student's budget haircut (actually i had spent much more in my student days). got a new cut. for a total cost of six dollars and thirty cents.

i went to an academy, that is a training school..and basically spent almost two freaking hours of my life getting a haircut. half way through it i was wondering if i should have just spend four dollars more on those express 10 min hair cut instead. by the end of that two hours, i basically know the basic haircutting techniques and the different type of scissors that go with it. errm well, kind of expected the long wait so i got my self comfortable actually. brought my own choc milk and pau and my TYS (yes!) and sat crosslegged there doing some MCQs (you know i am a nerd) while the trainee and trainer worked on my hair..

was a wee bit worried for a while coz i eyed another trainee trying to do a backcomb and bun on a mannequin..but what he ended with or rather the mannequin, was a strange looking mullet!

but my mum approves of it, dor (who rescued me) thinks it's cleopatraish and artsy, the canteen drink stall aunty commented i look very young, and my choir boy gave me a thumbs up today..

he still thinks of me as very aunty..hahah just a younger nerdy aunty

* my fav emoticon

once more.. the lovely nikah

got to sleep. lab tomorrow.

* addendum: my heart & prayers to sofia and family.

while having tea with him just now

"uhmm i think it's about time i go to the gym.."

"uhmm let me think of one good excsue to go...how about an excuse NOT to go?"


hahah i found one excuse (laziness sets in..but that is not an excuse)

checked the schedule. there are classes around this time. meaning there will be a lot of manic crazy people on the loose. meaning i would have to queue to shower later. okay,found the excuse.

shall stay home. and maybe will take out that skippping rope. maybe later.

and so i spent the afternoon yesterday at his backyard. trying to help reorganise the kitchen. and trying to have a conversation with her. i was never and i think will never be good at conversations with old folks. i am suppose to be natural rite..which is naturally not so conversational with the old folks, even with my parents..though we are okay i think.

we spent a long time together..just talking..hahah mainly her talking.. me listening, nodding my head. agreeing. like a dutiful girl..(later he said "you must know how to *siam* mah" ...like as if i can? ) but he is not so helpful..("so what does your mother like?"..."dunno, why dun u ask her?" ..."grrr..if i ask of coz she wont tell!" )... of course i do know her psyche after awhile and what makes her tick.just must try to bond more..

the only thing..hmm i havent figure out if it is good thing..he thinks i am like his mum! hahah like i worry alot. and i errmmm complain a lot to him!

anyway, since i was really bored today... shared this. next thing i shall try..coz maybe perhaps..i may want to try it out to impress the MIL2B!

and if it turns out well..we shall sing this song together, yeah.

yesterday was spent on school, with the zainals (yeah) and a wedding..sophia & faisal's


very nice wedding. simple and beautiful

he will be going to one of my favourite islands. without me of course. why dont i go along..errr..i dun want. he will be with his other "girlfriends"

i wish i can be there too..or anywhere where is the clear blue sea. my coligs had asked me for one dive trip..unfortunately it clashes with my family holiday next week. since i have not been on a holiday with the family for a loooong time...i chose the family.

v tired. i think i will just be happy to stay home actuali. you know..and have the whole place to myself ;)

"was just thinking about this the other day. It seems like the whole time I was in school I was all about graduating so I could actually make a little $. Now I'm making a little $ and wouldn't ya know it, I feel broker (is that actually a word?) than I was when I was in school. Poo."

we thought we are the only ones gripping! think again!

anyway i succumbed and placed links so that at least i have some guidance or well..errrm maybe just some interesting reads as i sail through in tis "adult" world.

hahah..but they dont always have adult tips..

"Weirdest financial tip I've ever gotten:
I used to work with a girl who froze her credit cards into huge blocks of ice. Thus, if she ever considered using one, she'd have to wait for several hours for the ice to melt. Usually, she'd have reconsidered the purchse before she could get the card out. And apparently, this did no damage to the credit card"


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today he is helping his parents strip the house..hahah ya they are doing some major reno meno there. and yesterday and today was strip the wallpaper day. his mum is just very happy and that day she called me sounding so..to talk about our lil campaign. except that it wasnt really..i didnt do much. i just told him his mum was upset that instead of doing reconstructing somewhere else she would have prefered he did the reconstructing back home. so he stayed.

anwyay..i couldnt help with the stripping coz i had to reccee one lil island for a coming trip. this morning went cycling at ubin! and i nearly died..i mean i am so terribly unfit now..at some points, i just wished i could stop and hail a cab.hahah..





errr.. okay i know now this kitty slippers are not for cycling


our coconut drink break

too tired, sweaty or too consumed in trying to get that damn gear thing right, to take much photos.

arent these cute..an army of wind up monkees in veil for favors.



haha..unfortunately i wont be doing these coz i dont think i can possibly find enough windup monkees. someone from crafter did..and if anyone is interested. this is how it is done..if you can get the monkees that is

"They're not quite finished here. They have earrings and veils, but no tiaras. The tiaras are just a strip of 5 pearls, but they really did a nice job of finishing the tops.

I attached the earrings with Sobo glue. Some are pearls and some are rhinestones. The veils are cheapass gathered lace trim, cut into triangles. I used cool-temp hot glue for those. I mention the cool-temp only because my fingers would be a mess of blisters if I had used the traditional kind. The pearl tiaras were also attached with the hot glue. "

so as i said before..i found a new hobby to add to the list of my hobbies..