my new object of desire..



i read in the decor mag..
they got a fake one at chatucak! anyone going?

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i did one of those online quiz thingie..and one said i can never get rich or successful
coz i am a person of many interests i.e easily distracted girl with too many ideas and too many projects i want to do..

hahah partiually true.

caught in the rain today, i went to the local crafts store..you know at times when one is really broke, one just have to find some really good stuffs. and i have been here a couple of times..but today i found some really good stufss. so i am going crafty this june..hahah infact i am addicted to crafters.org..my head is already spinning and i got a project already started ;)

the gss has started and we all know this year's gss is a "keep the singaporeans at home i.e. singapore" gss..meaning they have some great bargains!

oh well, but i am a person with not too great personal fiscal policies..it's mid month for me, and the cash has been diverted to the various things, some savings among them of course..and i don't have much reasons to be overjoyed about the first day of gss...

errmmm partly coz, like i said..i dun have any good policy..and partly coz i have already spent on a dress, a skirt, and a blouse which were from some pre-GS sales!hahahah

and the pre-sales are not bad either..

the other day. lim's art at holland village..their pre-sale which ends today! for those who cant make it to chatucak...30% ..some things will of course be cheaper than that air ticket.



errmm.. and now i have to make an effort to stay away from those shops, especially women's fashion and accessories, screaming "SALE" ...

but somehow we ended up in some corner instead which screamed "Fabulous Fake Fur!"





urgh..they are sooo kitschy..we were amused but a bit repulsed...

but not totally...



i remembered someone wanted sheepskin? we found one here. it's two-toned.

one of my colleagues was lamenting on how more than half of her cohort has left. i think she was feeling depressed coz she just went around talking to people openly about it. and her voice is loud. and this was the place where i tought a lot of people just grinned and bear it. really.


anyway she made me thought of how i would feel if i was in her position..that is after 5 years in service...and the conversation in the office that soe of us had that day..

"if you are thinking of getting rich, you shouldnt be here"

THAT's TRUE

"no, lah..you can earn quite a bit."

WELL..IT ALL DEPENDS WAT. FOR PEOPLE OF THE SAME AGE COMPARATIVELY. NOT SO..HMMM REALLY DEPENDS ON YOUR LUCK WHAT JOB YOU END UP OUTSIDE LOR

"but if you rise up fast you can"

YA..OF COZ..BUT IT IS SO CROWDED UP THERE..AND OUR LEVEL DIFFICULT. PLUS YOU ARE A SCHOLAR. DIFFERENT STORY.

"that's true. but scholars also feel stressed mah to perform"

SAME SAME. THE SYSTEM SUCKS....

" i dont have a honours" "and i dint do too well for my As"

SO THE PEOPLE UP THERE BRAND YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID YEARS AGO. SUCKS huh.

"but i dont have any desire to rise up to HEAD level. That's just another name for ADMIN MANAGER. LOL!"

................................................................................................


i thought over it. i am still lovin it. i love my kids. i feel pampered. i had thought of movin out to another level, another set of challenge but i think it may be more difficult outside.

but i thought about the chances of moving here. it is definitely more difficult.

but then i thought where do i move to. coz i really dont want to be a HEAD.

so what the heck do i want to do?

few years ago..i will end up angtsy.


then i look at CC. i think i want to be like him. i am happy with my core duties, and i enjoy it. and i should stick to it like he stuck to it for the last 6 years after quiting his more glam job. WHILE remaining sane and having loads of other experiences outside.

by the way, CC is my colleague who has also published several books, had his fare share of third world countries travel as he said, and was also a cinematographer for a local English movie not too long ago.


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anyway, i took a cab last week..you know cabbies love to talk...this one went on and on how you just had to pay and pay here...his advice for me..

"aiyo, lu manyak muda, pegi pakai itu computer. lu pandai kan. carik into laki pakai internet. pegik itu australia, america".

heheh he thinks i should find a husband, preferably not local and migrate. aiyo. serious, went on and on about it all the way from pasir ris to my place.

and that was my taxi ride of the week.

over warm flavoured milk last evening, i appointed a coordinator for my wedding next year..hahah coz i know she can be quite crafy ;)

and she is excited aready:

EMAIL:

arggh i can't stop checking out the pages...

http://www.marthastewart.com/page.jhtml;jsessionid=JKRHAHHAH0D4DWCKUUXCHPWYJKSS0JO0?type=product&id=product18660&rsc=sr9006

-----Original Message-----
From: XXXXX
Sent: Friday, May 28, 2004 12:25 PM
To: ''
Subject: RE: RE: say


This is teabag wedding favour very nice too...

http://www.marthastewart.com/page.jhtml;jsessionid=JKRHAHHAH0D4DWCKUUXCHPWYJKSS0JO0?type=content&id=channel1686&catid=cat459

-----Original Message-----
From: XXXXX
Sent: Friday, May 28, 2004 12:23 PM
To: ''
Subject: RE: RE: say


the card is very pretti

http://www.allcrafts.net/mywedding.htm

one of my favorite songs has now become one of my favourite cafes..just a month ago it felt like a discrete and cosy hangout. central perks for us. it's getting a lil bit crowded but still niceee. and another interesting fact, one of the co-owners used to work at my previous company.




you have to try tis, i told him. it's an apple crumble to crave for. best with some flavoured warm milk. but we have yet to go there together . almost did today.

but i have been indulging myself alot. ill-disciplined, and half slacker me. us.
but at least we know..and have to remember we have to be a professional at what we do.

i had the first taste of listening to the nagging of future MIL. but it was not about moi. it was about him.

hmmm.. listening to it as a third person, i could think with full clear rationality and have to agree to some things she said. and taking the stand of the future daughter-in-law i had to say it out to her i agreed with some things she said. tho i know he wont like that..but..

very tricky. it's about him wanting to go somewhere for a project this june. i have my own aprehension about it but i am actually okay with him going. coz if it was me, i also want to go too...plus both of us agree that it may not be as easy to get away after next year...

i think she called me to ask me to start another campaign to make him change his mind.hhahahah the last campaign when we joined forces together was almost four years ago when we wanted to get him back home from scandinavia.

anyway, from the conversation we had...which i think she meant well..and not that i am not aware, for any DIL who is going to stay with the in-laws , should know what she is getting into...hahahah but i did just did get some reality check there! and i still need some tips to please the in-laws yeah !!

with reference to the earlier post today, i realised a lot of the things at home have been breaking down. he said either we have a not so good OM or really bad luck for us, or people here are very 'kasar' / 'rough'.

first the tv got spoilt, then ceiling fan blew, then my room fan buttons malfunction, then a wardrobe door came off..now the desktop.really. and i havent even been at home much.hmmm....

if these things were living things they would be signs. you know, like the stars and the wind. but they are material things. so is it just a matter of product lifespan?


anyway, my three entries in a day shall make up for the days when i will computerless.

yes, i am a scaredy cat dear. i ask my mum to sleep with me sometimes. so u cant leave me alone. and please tell me the ghosts are gone.

* actually i think no one likes to stay home alone..he had his friends over when his family went for a holiday. hah , so U 2 too!

anyway, i used to stay here alone for a period of two months. this is quite a scary place but by far the coolest place i have stayed. rather gothic.






a few scary things:

- there was a picture of a rastafarian man with dreadlocks (no, it wasnt bob marley) in the bathroom beside the mirror. after a while i just place a towel over it. coz i couldnt stand looking at him, especially at night.

- sometimes, there would be some weird sound through the door, and i though it was the sound of wind (god knows how come for this apartment on the third floor), and it made me feel unsettled.

-there was a huge mirror at the hallway, and somehow i was imagining that wasn't a real mirror, like it was a hidden videocam for the owner to see the tenants.

- the laundry has to be done at the basement, which was dark, narrow and and has creaky stairs leading to it. a grown up woman, that i thought i was already back then, still imagined that someday frankerstein will jump out from the corner.

- there was a cabinet in the living room. yes, that one above. there werent any drawers or openings on the cabinet. it was black, and made of stone, if i can remember, black marble. for a while couldnt figure out, what the heck that thing was. until one day, i asked my friend to check it out. we look high low and around, and finally found a small button. the black cabinet opens at the top. like a coffin!

- and not so scary. i thought for a while the full length mirror was the type where noone outside could see in..so i was comfortable to walk around in my undies..hahah..but later i found out to my horror it wasnt!

most times, it may just be our imagination getting the better of us. but the place still gave me the creeps then. so i slept with the some lights on, and always then had the quran which i brought by the bedside.

my home desktop is totally dead. the screen might as well show me RIP. 2001-2004.

it totally crashed, i called the service center today and they told me that the warranty has run out. DAMN! i have to fork out some $600 to get the harddisk replaced and fixed. *sigh* am just wandering if i should sent to a pirated fixer.


and that is my complaint of the day..


besides my prennial complain that I AM BORED. that is my most common complaint.

i think i am a complainer. that's what he said. which makes me a typical singaporean. but the thing is , i dont complain to one and all. i complain mainly to him. like i cant imagine complaining to my parents. coz they wont understand. and when i complain to certain people, mainly to him. poor boy. and i get or expect different reactions from different people whom i complain to/with. with him, i expect a lil bit of sympathy and empathy. with my friends, i like them to laugh and joke about things we complain, with me. but i think complaining relieves stress doesnt it. if not it can get sooo boring, especially if everybody takes everything so seriously. worse if they dont dare to complain. that's what i like about some of my friends , they make a joke about their complains.

it was time to take out that black cocktail dress for the special date tonite. and i even attempted to paint my nails. done by myself, so it's actually pretty ugly...



hahah , no, not the IIFA..though we were soooo very close to sniffing the precense of the boleeewood celebs. was at the grand hyatt tonite.as we were on our way to the ballroom, passed the IIFA press room and reception. sigh, i was actually wondering if they were going to have a post party there, and if i can crash it! but that was only after passing the 'very secured' lobby..
and since the place was packed, what with the IIFA stars and three weddings happening in the same place, we parked at the next building...

which made our exit very interesting.cheap thrill, but when we left, there were barricades and fans at the entrance. and we left passing the lobby and passing the entrance, passing the barricaded fans..hahah..must be how posh n becks felt with hordes of fans waiting for them as they make their exit/entrace into hotel lobbies. only that they weren't screaming our names!

ahh not even minor celebs in this small isle, still have time for a lil vanity project.

before there was britney spears, we were in awe with the dance moves of the school ’s dancers and cheerleaders. and yesterday in the fundraising for campvision, a number of them relived the days of ‘ mass dance ’ years ago, but this time less innocent with their exotic dance with hats and stools ala britney spears, to peggy sue’s fever. they sizzled yet somehow still came across to me more like the cheerleaders and housecaptains i knew years ago.

there was also the auction or bid for hunks-n-babes after that. stayed long enough to see the first guy r.ghosh(!) being bidded. deal was closed after he took off his shirt and his belt, but of coz the highest bidder was none other than his own girlfriend.













told him about the event and toyed with the idea of going for the dance classes, and i think he was excited at the idea. haha, but of coz it has to be for his own exclusive viewing.hahahahah..and of coz I told him, the first exclusive appearance will only be after the wedding, and he will have to pay for my lessons.

sigh..tomorrow i will feel like shit. never learnt that sleeping pass midnite..means it is going to be very difficult to peel myself off the bed at 530 in the morning..

same thing as i never learnt not to wear 2 1/2 inch heels especially on the day when i have to run around a lot. ouch*

tomorrow, or rather today, thursday, i have a tempting invitation to go for an exotic dance display plus hunks-n-babes bid. all in the name of charity. it's a fund raising thing, and to add to that, i was told there will be some familiar people whom i havent met for ages..like 10 years!

sounds tempting. but only if i feel okay at the end of the 12 hour workday.

cya!

is that a pretty bouqet or what? got it courtesy of some creative gals. heh.



from one emo to another emo song. this one real sappy isnt it? to tell the truth they are not reflection of my feelings, right now. i am feeling lite but this one got me pondering over some thoughts. . it just sounds very forlorn to me..i would have cried and cried so much MUCH more if my heart was getting broken if i hear this song.

hmm...but it also sounds like a song that will run through the head of a bride to be getting cold feet. dont ask me why. just a thought running through my head. i have never known of any real life runaway bride..only runaway hearts perhaps from the already married kind. but it also sounds like it is for someone who's having a long distance relationship and doenst know where it is heading to. have been there and it incredibly blasterdly sucks! yes, babe, u have to hang in there or fly over. and if that is where you are heading, am going to miss u.

..........................................................................................................................

.. i have also gotten to know of a new song over the weekend, it's actually an oldie. heard it in the car with him, and cant help laughing but at the same time cant help singing to the chorus. and it is so whack! and he said it is stored in his long term memory coz he used to like it a lot when he was a lil boy.

ahahah..can imagine him singing and dancing to domo arigato mr roboto! domo arigato mr roboto! remembering this makes me want to pinch his cheeks everytime ;)

will find that song again.

The resident class bimbo as what the boys call her got an A for the lecture test. She gets teased that but not sure if she minds. Why do the call her that? Most part because she has this dazed look in class and basically coz she is very “theah” with the boyz. But today the boys went “waaah, xxxxx” got an A and I sensed some were surprised and some were not too happy. Ha. I call it the revenge of the “bimbo”.

I can empathize with her. While I was in JC, my class girl was full of bimbotic behaving girls. Girls who yak non stop about fluff. The boys will call the girls bimbotic. Err..i have to say I wasn’t part of them coz I was a very ‘kwai’ and shy girl then (and I still am now) But I am very proud of my bimbo class girls coz all of them have brains behind the fluff. Despite the blurness and the daze expressions that they carry throughtout the tutorials, they all aced in the studies, did S papers, and half of them are scholars, doing well in their careers now..

Hahah..my experience comes later in life in Uni. When I was in the nerdiest class in the nerdiest faculty. Somehow somewhere along the way., I got labelled a bimbo. I wasn’t too sure how that come about. I was irritated in the beginning, but then after awhile I couldn’t care. And at the end of the four years, I was proud to say , girls who like to wear their skirts short and their jeans low-slung. (and look pretty and hip) were acing their studies and taking their place in the honour rolls. Of coz we have to thank the boys who were all so kind and willing to help us with the tutorials, but hey, we also have to give ourselves some credit coz there still needs to be some substansial grey matter to be able to do a 3hour long paper every semester.

What is less forgiveable however is working women acting blur, where one is to strive to be professional. Hmm..let me say first though, being blur and acting blur is a different matter. What cheese me off however are people who look down on women who like to dress well and pretty.

I once got this comment which run somewhere along the like “maybe it’s of the way you dress”. Which was totally baseless, coz I was actually being extra conservative wearing shirt and pants ALL the time. Aaahh..but then again what the person meant was maybe I stood out among the rest who wore auntie and uncle attires. You know how people say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, judge a person by his looks, this is like a reverse bias. Judging a person capabilities or rather underestimating a person’s capabilities by the way he or she dresses or look..HaH

somtime ago, i have actually rant about this..

""you may work like a dog, but you don't have to look like one!"
so, for my stressed out overworked fashionita friends out there, take heart.

there is nothing wrong to dress up pretty and girlish. that has nothing to do with your capabilities. as i got older and wiser, i realised, that in addition to being able to do the job well, dressing well and being presentable is afterall a definite strength, so why should we girls hide that side. of course, sometimes i know a pretty lady may make other women feel threatened (so you got to be extra nice) and sometimes you have them "eyeballing" you from head to toe, while men may tend to underestimate you (the latter is the one i like better). in any case, dressy or frumpy, if i want to do a job, i rather be allowed to do it in my own terms. "

hot humid weekend, have done quite abit. caught up with old friends. had a good laugh at our battle stories. plans for holidays. just cant wait.

my life is full of ' should i's and 'just cant wait's. promises and anticipations. but i always tell myself it's okay to dream and hope for something. there must always something to look forward to, if not things will just fall to be mindless drudgery.

one of my activities was rummaging around and found one photo from the earlier days. actually i am unhappy with myself here, coz there were a few other photos which i love more dearly. and i think better taken, but simply cant place them.

this one was taken about five years ago, when i was at my neurotic best. yes, in uni.



of all the anticipations and 'just cant wait' s. i have been telling him and wanting to hear from him....

and i found this and somehow i like it. with or without you. on marriage, the prophet. by kahlil gibran

"You were born together,
and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together
when the white wings of death scatter your days.

Ay, you shall be together
even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another,
but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup
but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread
but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress
grow not in each other's shadow."

In many ways, they'll miss the good old days
Someday, someday
Yeah, it hurts to say, but I want you to stay
Sometimes, sometimes



When we was young, oh man, did we have fun
Always, always
Promises, they break before they're made
Sometimes, sometimes



And now my fears
They come to me in threes
So, I, Sometimes
Say, "Fate my friend,
You say the strangest things
I find, sometimes"



Oh, Maya says I'm lacking in depth
I will do my best
You say you wanna stay by my side
Darlin', your head's not right



See, together we stand, alone we fall apart
Yeah, I think I'll be alright
I'm working so I won't have to try so hard
Tables, they turn sometimes

Someday. Sometime

quick note: finally got online..those pesky virus, worm writers..i wonder what the punishment is for them. we were joking those guys need to be undergo solitary confinement, with no internet or computer access and probaly have something to inject to their hands to numb them. mean. but we have suffered enuff..



quick note 2: before the nite out with the girls, i had a quick dinner with him. and i had a short trip to DI and got a new pair of shoes. i like coz it has ribbons and of coz purpleshness. nana said it is carrie bradshaw. i had also gone to POA and saw even more mules. and they actually remind me of an-an..it is so very HER!

quick note 3: and whom i met later online and we had a brief chat, on how some people may think i look 'dao'. i have been trying to blend in and emulate some people in my department, the strategy i took was to be like them, lie low and keep quiet. the quietness bores me sometimes tho i stuck to it for a while...but then she said it wont do..coz i can end up looking 'dao', which based on experience, i have to agree with her. so i shall make sure i put on my glasses or contact lenses, (so things will be less blur) and walk around with a smile more often. and maybe do another round of the office chat around .


quick note 4: and in my office, i think there are a few ms bradshaws. they are not only so immaculately dressed and coordinated, they got that fashionita-lil girl mix style down to a pat. i mean, who can pull off a polka dot skirt with red mary janes. and did i say red polka dots, and one of them actually wore a polka dot dress.. it sounds ridiculous but she looked so audrey hepburn. ahh..and so pretty are the stuffs at thedressingloft.com, which has got me excited. one day, would love to go for their tea party. coz even if he doesnt like me to wear dresses as much, especially girlish ones. i like. i dress me for me.

okay, that was more than a few quick notes.

koh lipe is this island in the andaman, south of krabi/phuket and north of langkawi. it is relatively ulu to some, so if you google it you dont get much links except for some in european languages. but that's what some of us like, finding a not so crowded island. anyway, its in the deep south of thailand. to get there, the easiest way is to first get to satun province via hadyai or via langkawi. the island is far out in the sea though, and you have to take a 4 hour boat ride...how do i know all these..ermm becoz i always plan and dream of holidays..hahaha but i have yet to get there..and also from a fren who got there before me..

anyway photos from koh lipe courtesy of wy (who was brave/crazy to go to supposedly unstable 'hadyai' alone on the spur of a moment thing, who forgot it is off season now tho she was lucky enuff the weather was good when she got there, but whom later ended up at a norman bates hotel in bangkok)












..there is suppose to be a lobster hiding somewhere under the rocks
and tis was taken very close to the shore..

couldnt sleep after watching eyeforaguy..not that the show is making me sleepless. my colleague said , i may be suffering from overexhaustion where my brain activity is still running high. i lie in bed, but just cant sleep. the solution apparently, i must get some lavendar oil..and some soothing music..and definitely no net..hahaha ...errmm but for now..

watching the show reminded me of the kids i have in school. really. the way the guys behave. guys will be boys and the show displayed them at their juvenille best. if they were a bunch of girls they will be called bitchy. and errmmm.. that girl she talks exactly like one of my students. anyway, i feel a bit dissapointed with her. i tot the guy with the silver (or was it golden) highlights and has a name that sounds like the colour also..was a fine young man. nice, sweet and polite, not like most of the rest.

i had also gotten online also to catch up with news.. one of the more interesting ones;

* "Thai PM hopeful of Liverpool deal"

boy, he must be a really busy man....trying to stop muslim uprising in the south and trying to buy liverpool FC at the same time

my fren's back. safe in singapore.

"message : hi there.. i'm back from my hair raising road trip. i went lipe partlybecoz of the funny lipe link you'd sent to me last time!

http://home.wanadoo.nl/rappa/

unfortunately didnt' get to meet that trippy guy while i was on the island. damn glad to me back but damn glad to have made the trip too! seeya.."

it's her story ..but just like to share,a charactersitic which i like in a person is the ability to laugh at a situation especially under stress ...like last night..we were laughing together over the phone and amused more than anything last night at the unfortunate situation.

* addendum to the post below;

11.45pm: i got a call from her just as i was about to go to bed...ermmm coz she is now stranded in bkk! in amazing race style, i checked some numbers for her and have to help her to figure out the best way to get back to work by tomorrow afternoon..

will continue the story tomorrow . ..sleepy

..................................................................................................................................................

something related to my 1am entry last night.

was just opening the page on "decay series" on this hot sunday afternoon when i got an sms from a fren...

wy: went to koh lipe. saw a lobster while snorkelling! now on way back to hatyai. missed my hatyai-singapore bus. so got to fly back

me: u went alone!?

wy: yep


see.. on friday i called her to ask a very simple question. should i or shoudl i not go for a massage..and in that space of time, she told me instead she would go down to golden mile and see whatever ticket there is to anywyhere.. and somewhere she went!!!!

another one beat me to it...urgh..i am filled with a lil bit of sadness for myself. i dun noe wat to say.
i am happy for her but i am sad for me.hahaha.

atually then on the friday afternoon, i had to be the old nagger, who told her how dangerous it was to just go off like dat..well..ermm i changed my mind..i shant be the old nagger anymore.

dear, go sumatra if you want. i will like you too.

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother"- Author unknown.


yesterday we celebrated mummy's day. me and cousins decided last week, we would do a joint celebration..the plan was to go out and eat but our mums had to go for their religous class, so we ended having a meal and cake and my place..

before that, we were at bugis, and he was trying to figure out on a present for his mum. since errm..i was going to be part of the family soon, i chipped in and in the end we got her a set of toiletries from c&e.

anyway, something which has been on my mind these few days. what would be nice for a name of a photography company?
right now,we thought of a few. those with words related to photography, then with words related to science. (quarks, quanta, photon..hahah) and a few non related ones like halcyon photos..anyway, one of the funniest contribution i can remember is Is-Steri Photos as in is seri and isteri also..hhahah and another one i like was lensa photos.

i was thinking i want some generic names, not related to photography, like some of my favourite photographers thepond.com.sg (they have oniatta's wedding album here) and memphiswest.com .go see.

two nights ago i met up with a couple..it was a second one for me. i was feeling drained at that time..but somehow, i dont know how to describe it, but they have so much 'effervescence' if i can ever say that about people about them. and they got me energized somehow.

they have a sense of adventure that not many of us have.

i wonder. must we always blame it on work? are we going to fall stagnant?

anyway, they may be crazy or they may be boliao..a story which they will definitely tell their kids or grandkids in the future is how he rode overnight, yah, 7 hours..all the way to penang just to have berakfast. and it was errmmm.. mcdonald's breakfast..hahahhah...the original plan was just to reach the penang bridge and then u turn..but coz the stomach was grumbling they simply had to eat before turning back home.


deep inside of me, i want to have such impulsive, impractical, lets not think of the risk kind of love...or life.

and i have to say, it is strange. maybe while we are living at home, we have a 'let's play it safe' we go to the same places mentality. and forget to discover..i remembered the time when it was such an adventure to drive out after work. on impulse we went to the car rental place. if we could have it, we would have rented out an open top. just went off for a ride, then came back at 5am in the morning and appear at work at 8am later.

the road trips were so much fun. did i ever tell you that i so love roadtrips. i do..

when we were looking out at the fields, both of us thought, wouldnt it be perfect to have someone we love to share this moment?







i know..some may say, of coz i dun feel it coz i dun drive..but if i ever feel a need to..tis will be the main reason for me to learn.

me and him, we are feeling undeniably bla*

its some circumstances and situations that have kept cropping up yet again..and doesnt seem to be solved.

what i need was to hear "everything will be okay, we'll pull through" and honestly, i needed a hug.