90/10: The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your Emails

today's just one of those days..when things dont fall into place. and many things can just get on your nerve.


then you get such an email.

Subject: 90/10 Principle by Steven Covey

What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of
what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does
this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.


We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving,
which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We
have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine
the other 90%. How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light.
However, you can control your reaction. Do not let people fool you; YOU can
control how you react.


Let us use an example: You are eating breakfast with your family. Your
daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no
control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by
how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the
cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your
spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the
table.


A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.
Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish
breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must
leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to
school.


Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit
zone. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you
arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying
goodbye.


After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your
briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get
worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you
find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why?
Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?


A. Did the coffee cause it?
B. Did your daughter cause it?
C. Did the policeman cause it?
D. Did you cause it?


The answer is "D". You had no control over what happened with the coffee.
How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is
what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your
daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to
be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel, you rush upstairs.


After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time
to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns
and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your
boss comments on how good the day you are having.


Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both
ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED.


You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90%
was determined by your reaction.


Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something
negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water
on glass. You do not have to let the negative comment affect you! React
properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in
losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc. How do you react if
someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the
steering wheel? (A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you
curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try to bump them? WHO CARES if you
arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive.


Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it. You are told you
lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your
worrying energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late; it is
going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on
the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your
time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why are you stressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90/10 principle.